I just can’t believe all these deaths of teens, global warming, us against you and the total disregard for any type of human being really stepping up and changing things. Protest protest protest all you want but then a new cause and flavor of the week and then they are gone. Die in? Do you really care? I don’t really think much about it other than you are on private property and the people you are protesting against didn’t create the injustice seen in the world today. If you are going to protest how about protest in front the CEO’s, Governors or even Presidents homes or someone who has lobbied or put money towards these crimes? It’s always in front of hard working people who didn’t dictate the laws or circumstance for these problems.
Sometimes I wish the human race would die out or at least the pat that has no regard for other people. No not the guy driving the BMW, but the people who use people for despicable purposes. Dictators, Presidents, Slave traders; really there is this special part of the world… Cradle of civilization; the warlords in these parts of the country just kill at will and no one can stop them. Wholly Crazy’s, which include Christians, Muslims, Jews, etc. that kill at will because they believe they are so right when reality they follow a religion based on Sun and Moon gods and pretty much relied on sacrifice to grow crops or keep the plagues away. How about except me for I am. I love people but not because of what they believe but who they are. I once had a Muslim girlfriend whom I loved very much. I don’t believe in god but of course she did and I accept her faith and her being devout but she could never accept the fact I don’t believe and will never. At times I wish I could but I’m just to much of a thinker to just have faith in a book written 2500 years ago as fact. If the book was set up as a philosophy of love and acceptance maybe but that will never happen.
This is a long rant of all the things on my mind. The only thing I know for sure is I love my wife and that is fact all other stuff is so flaky and wavy that I at times need to sit and relax. I really want to scream, but what would that do or cry which I do feel like doing at times. The frustration I feel for life and what we are supposed to be doing. I know we are just here and that’s it. I have no misgivings on that I just want to be more satisfied with what I’m doing and creating. Creating moment that has no effect for an artist can be painful, so I just need to get all the frustration, pain and anger out of my being.
I wish my mom were still around because at times I really miss her council. She was the best woman I have ever known and I loved her dearly. She always had something great to say and the days around February and the holidays really affect me. At times I really just want to curl up and sleep or hide under a table, I don’t because I know what that denotes but it still feel like being wrapped in a blanket safe from life and all the monsters that are along the way and are here to torment you. Any ways I think my brain is 50% empty and know I can focus on working and life.